1. Name
1. The name of this organization shall be ABC Club Boston (hereinafter ABC Club).


2. Statement of Purpose
1. The purpose of this organization shall be to:
1. Minimize social awkwardness by providing an opportunity to meet your future spouse, business associate, or figure-skating coach while visiting a bunch of bars in alphabetical order;
2. Repeat this process over and over again;
3. Uphold faithfully our core values:
1. Honesty: you can tell us if the bar sucks.
2. Respect: we will respect you the next morning when you're hungover and forget to wipe off yesterday's mascara.
3. Compassion: if you're drunk, we'll be right there with you.
4. Trust: you can trust us to look out for your best interest, id est we won't let you go home with Fugly, Butherface, or Sketch.
5. Diversity: we don't discriminate; we'll laugh at any dumb drunk.


3. Affiliation
1. The ABC Club of Boston shall serve as the one true and official chapter of the ABC Club. The creation and association of subsequent chapters can only be conceived at the discretion of the always beautiful and oftentimes irreverent Jessica Orndorff, Leslie Stachowiak, and Ashley Zolenski (hereinafter the Triumvirate).


4. Membership
1. Membership is open to all clubbable individuals, especially those whose social awkwardness forced to pass on such opportunities for communal entertainment and social action in preschool, middle school, high school, and college. We encourage you all to join and tell your coworkers, friends, family, and all those who share our values.
2. Termination of membership shall occur only at the discretion of the Triumvirate and is reserved for those whose actions compromise the good time and safety of the club and its members through violence, snobbery, wet blanket syndrome or other behavior the Triumvirate, after deliberation with Legal Counsel, deem inappropriate and/or downright scandalous.


5. Events, Meetings and Publications
1. The ABC Club will drink its way through Boston twice a month, beginning at a bar starting with the letter A and ending at a bar starting with the letter Z, with all the bars and letters in between.
2. The ABC Club is always concerned about the well-being and good times of its members and strives to select bars with attractive perks, including but not limited to great location, cost, and food and booze offerings. Bars will range from classy to dive to new to familiar.
3. Members will receive emails from the Triumvirate that will include information (i.e. time and location) of upcoming meetings, possible rescheduling of scheduled meetings, and other special events the ABC Club wishes to hold.


6. The Counsel of Leadership
1. All operations of the ABC Club are led by the Triumvirate.
2. The ABC Club shall have 3 executive officers:
1. President
1. The President shall preside over club affairs.
2. Chief Executive Officer
1. The CEO shall execute her office chiefly.
3. Charter Member
1. The Charter Member shall sanction new membership.
3. Failure of any office to uphold the duties of their office are grounds for public scorn and a slap on the wrist.


7. Criteria for Holding Office
1. All individuals must be either good looking, funny or downright lucky (if possible, all three), according to the tastes of the Triumvirate.
2. There are no limitations on the number of terms of office an individual may hold, except for the capriciousness of the Triumvirate.